


not by any force of reason

by quillsand



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Affection, Communication, Established Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Relationship Discussions, resolved angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 06:49:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12163665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quillsand/pseuds/quillsand
Summary: A series of prompts I've filled over on tumblr that all revolve around Enjolras, Grantaire, and the challenges they face in their relationship.Complete with large doses of that rare little thing called Proper Communication.





	1. Priorities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt requested by a lovely anon on tumblr: "i hope you're still taking prompts! enjoltaire and priorities (work/relationship)"

Enjolras is two pages deep into an article about the recently passed legislation when he feels a tap at his shoulder.

Frowning slightly, he looks up to see Grantaire, hovering above him and looking less than impressed. “Yes?” Enjolras asks, frustration evident in his tone.

“You do realise this marks the sixth consecutive hour you’ve spent on that thing?” Grantaire asks, gesturing to Enjolras’ laptop.

Upon checking the time, Enjolras can see that is indeed approaching six o’clock, and that Grantaire’s statement is correct. He sighs. “I have to get this done, you know that.” he tells Grantaire, because Grantaire _should_ know that.

“It’s your day off.” argues Grantaire, because _of course_ he does, he always has to find a way to disagree with _everything_ Enjolras says, no matter how important or urgent or- “You barely ever get days off.” Grantaire continues. “I feel as though we’ve barely spoken this past week and it doesn’t help when you spend more nights with that laptop by your side than you do with me. I know your work’s important, okay, I do, I promise, I get that- but you said, at the start of this relationship, that I’m important too, and right now I don’t really feel like it.”

Enjolras falters, hands hovering above the keyboard as he registers Grantaire’s words, his saddened expression, the way he’s carrying himself, hunched over. Enjolras straightens himself up and makes an executive decision, turning to face Grantaire and giving the other man his full attention. “Okay.” he says softly, “Okay, this sounds like something we need to talk about.”

Grantaire nods his head slowly, arms unfolding as Enjolras takes one of his hands. “I really need to finish this. Give me thirty more minutes and then we’ll watch a film together- you can pick what we watch, I don’t mind- and then we’ll talk. Sound good?”

Squeezing Enjolras’ hand, Grantaire nods once more. “I can pick?” he asks, the beginning of a smirk on his lips and that’s much better, that’s normal, Grantaire smirking, Grantaire teasing him- it’s normal and it’s beautiful and Enjolras is hit with a sudden pang of shame for causing Grantaire to feel like he’s not worth Enjolras’ time.

“You can pick.” Enjolras confirms.

“You’re going to regret that.” Grantaire says slyly, coaxing Enjolras’ mouth into a smile.

“I don’t doubt it.” he says, biting the inside of his cheek to stop the grin. “Thirty minutes, alright?”

“Cool. I’ll make popcorn.”

Grantaire disappears off into the kitchen- supposedly to do exactly that, leaving Enjolras alone with his thoughts. He doesn’t get too much work done within half an hour, too busy worrying and wondering about Grantaire. Is it true that Enjolras has been neglecting him in favour of work? It’s something they’d talked about at the start of their relationship, and Enjolras knows he can get too caught up in his work, he _knows_ that. He needs work to function, to occupy himself, and sometimes he can take it too far- but he’d genuinely thought he’d been accommodating and mindful of Grantaire’s needs, too.

But then again… he does remember being at the office an awful lot this week. He’d stayed overtime on Tuesday to cover for one of his co-workers, and perhaps he _had_ spent a little too long on his laptop on his weekend off.

He walks into their main room exactly thirty minutes later to find Grantaire sprawled out on the sofa, the opening scene to Legally Blonde already playing on their TV.  Enjolras feels some of his earlier tension fade away- Grantaire had the choice to watch literally anything, and he still chose one of Enjolras’ all time favourite films.

“The best that Netflix has to offer.” Grantaire says chirpily as Enjolras moves to sit down next to him, a bowl of popcorn waved unceremoniously underneath his nose as soon as he’s settled.

“Thanks.” Enjolras says, hoping that Grantaire knows he means it about more than just the popcorn.

Throughout the film, they gradually melt closer together. Enjolras ends up laid across the sofa behind Grantaire, arms wrapped around the other man’s middle. Grantaire’s head is against Enjolras’ chest, dark curls tickling his nose. It’s not the most comfortable position in the world but it’s close enough. (It’s enough to make Enjolras realise how much he’s missed this, at any rate.)

“I may owe you an apology.” Enjolras says quietly once the credits are rolling.

Grantaire makes a pained sound. “I was probably overreacting. I know you’re busy at the minute, and when you’re not busy there’ll be more time for us.”

Frowning still, Enjolras maneuvers them so that they’re face to face. “You weren’t overreacting. I _have_ been working a lot lately, and if that’s impacting our relationship negatively then it’s an issue. I don’t want you to feel like I never have time for you, whether I’m busy or not- and I’m afraid that _is_ how I’ve been making you feel recently.”

Grantaire starts to shake his head but stops abruptly. “I just… you’re busy, and I hate to distract you when you’re busy because I know your job is really important. It feels selfish to want you all to myself when I know you could be doing what you love.”

“It’s not selfish of you.” Enjolras says almost immediately, to which Grantaire rolls his eyes. “It’s not! Sometimes I get so invested in work that I forget I need _this_ too. I love you and I love spending time with you, sometimes I just need reminding that work can wait. It’s not selfish, R.”

Grantaire sighs. “If you say so. I know it’s not a choice between me or work and I’d hate to ever make you feel like you have to make a decision between me and doing what you love.”

“But Grantaire, you are what I love, and I love doing y-”

“Oh my god.” Grantaire cuts him off. “Stop right there. You did not just make that joke Enjolras, I know you didn’t.”

Enjolras just smiles, leaning forward to press a kiss to Grantaire’s forehead. “Seriously though,” he says after a contented pause. “I will make an effort to divide my time more evenly between you and work.”

“That… Would be nice.” Grantaire says after a while. “You’re usually really good at it, y’know? It surprised me actually- it’s just, recently, I’ve been feeling more… left behind, I guess.”

“Right.” Enjolras says, heart pounding- it hurts to hear, but he has to acknowledge it as truth if they’re ever going to get past it. “And it’s good when you tell me that you’re feeling like that, because then I can do whatever I’m able to ensure we both get what we need out of this relationship.”

“Mmmm.” Grantaire agrees. “Okay.”

They’ve been dating long enough now for Enjolras to figure out when Grantaire doesn’t want to talk anymore, and so he gently lets the subject drop. They’ll talk more tomorrow, if it’s imperative that something is still wrong.

For now, though, it seems they’re both content to simply lie there in each other’s presence, enjoying the warmth that only being together can bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! You can find me on tumblr at [tattoograntaire](http://www.tattoograntaire.tumblr.com)
> 
> Title from the brick itself! During Grantaire's intro where Hugo describes him as 'loving and venerating' Enjolras :''')


	2. Input

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt requested by a lovely anon on tumblr: Enjoltaire + "I'm not leaving" :)

“When were you going to tell me about this?”

The image of Grantaire, stood in the doorway with nothing but boxers on and his hair in a messy array of curls, might have provoked a very different reaction in Enjolras, if it weren’t for the torn expression on his face and the half crumpled letter clutched in his fist.

Enjolras opens and closes his mouth a few times before his brain remembers how to form words. “It’s not…” he trails off, considering.

It’s honestly not what it looks like, but Enjolras likes to think that he knows Grantaire well enough by now to know what’s going on in his head, and it’ll take a lot more reassurance to assuage the doubts written all over Grantaire’s face like a map of his emotions.

Closing his laptop and turning to face his boyfriend, Enjolras looks Grantaire straight in the eyes and tries to calm his panic that way. “Don’t jump to conclusions. It’s nothing bad, I promise- I was going to tell you after I’d spoken to my boss about it. There was no reason to worry you when it wasn’t even confirmed yet.”

“No reason to worry me? Enjolras, they want to transfer you half way across the globe and you didn’t think that sufficient enough to tell me?”

“ _They_ want to, yes, but _I_ don’t want to. Grantaire, I’m not leaving. I have a meeting with Lamarque tomorrow to discuss officially declining, I’m not going anywhere.”

Grantaire is silent for a few long seconds before pulling on a shirt and slowly moving to sit next to Enjolras on the battered couch. He leaves a few inches of space between them which makes Enjolras’ heart clench for all the wrong reasons. 

“I wish you would have told me.”

Grantaire’s voice is quiet, a slight defiance detectable underneath the hurt. Enjolras unconsciously fiddles with a loose thread on the cushions whilst he tries to think of the best angle to adress this from. 

Enjolras didn’t tell Grantaire for one simple reason: he didn’t want him to have to worry about it. This was Enjolras’ problem to deal with, and he made it a pledge early on that he’d limit the anxiety it would surely cause Grantaire. 

Grantaire had confessed to Enjolras that his anxiety had been getting steadily worse a little while ago, on a cloudless night that was as chilly as it was cosy, huddled beneath their covers. Enjolras remembers that night well and he remembers wanting, more than anything, to make the world a little bit more bearable for Grantaire.

Looking at his boyfriend’s face now, his carefully averted gaze and shoulders that seem taught with tension, Enjolras realises he may have failed. 

“I know you’re struggling from a lot of anxiety right now and I thought it might be better for you if I dealt with this on my own, rather than having to worry you. I see now that I might have been wrong.”

“That’s not… Enjolras, that’s not how you make it better. You can’t just… Not tell me about anything that might- _might_ \- make me anxious. If I lived life like that I’d probably never do _anything_ , it’s not-” He pauses to take a breath and Enjolras, unable to stand the no contact points between them, bridges the gap by placing a hand tentatively on Grantaire’s knee. Grantaire stills for a second before seeming to take courage from the gesture, covering Enjolras’ hand with his own before continuing. “I know we have an honesty policy, but that includes, y’know, full disclosure. I mean, obviously not like, _full_ , full disclosure, you’re still entitled to your own thoughts, we don’t live in a dystopia… Well, I mean, I guess that’s debatable with the state the world is in right now-”

“R?” Enjolras prompts softly, squeezing Grantaire’s knee. Grantaire shakes his head as if to clear it.

“Right, sorry. Yeah, I mean, with things that explicitly concern me- or us, y’know, like, our relationship- I’d appreciate it if you told me. I know you’re trying to- to make it easier for me but, you can’t- you shouldn’t, uh. Like, potentially moving to the other side of the world? I’d like to think that concerns me because this- because us, that is- this isn’t just a fling, right? This is a real, long-term thing in the foreseeable future, so you leaving would, uh, would affect that.”

Enjolras turns his palm upwards to entwine Grantaire’s fingers with his own. “This is a real, long-term thing, yes.” he says, squeezing. Grantaire’s lips twitch, just briefly, and Enjolras feels a warmth blossom in his chest. They’ve been together for three years now but Grantaire sometimes still struggles with the concept of a future together, despite Enjolras’ constantly reassuring him everytime he needs to hear it.

“Yeah so, you need to tell me these things when they happen. Even if it might make me anxious.” 

Enjolras frowns slightly, trying to understand from everything Grantaire has explained to him about anxiety. “But isn’t that bad? The anxiety?”

Grantaire makes the suggestion of a sound, an aborted laugh, perhaps. “That’s not- of course it’s bad. It sucks, to tell you the truth. But I’d rather you tell me the type of things so I’m able to deal with it rather than keeping it from me because you think you know what’s best.”

Enjolras is quiet for a long moment, head bowed slightly as he lets Grantaire’s words sink in. “Oh.” he begins eventually. “I think I understand. I’m sorry for not telling you. I thought I was helping but… I can see how that may not have been the case.”

Grantaire smiles, just slightly, and leans over to press a peck of a kiss to Enjolras’ forehead. “Forgiven.” he says simply, drawing back but remaining close. 

Enjolras hums in thought, raising his hands to rest on Grantaire’s shoulders and bringing him even closer. “I love you.” he mutters into Grantaire’s hair, softly. 

“I love you too.” Grantaire responds easily, inching apart ever so slightly in order for them to talk face to face. “And I do appreciate you trying to help with my anxiety. No one’s ever really done that before, so thank you.”

“Even though I got it wrong?” 

“Even though, on this one particular occasion, you got it wrong. It’s okay,” he adds hastily, upon seeing Enjolras’ unhappy expression. “I know you were just doing what you thought was best. Next time, just… talk to me first, okay?”

“Okay.”

Grantaire kisses him then, just once, a gentle press of lips against his own. “You’ll keep me informed about how the meeting goes?” Grantaire asks as they part, vulnerability creeping back into his tone. 

“Of course.” Enjolras agrees, placing his own lips against Grantaire’s temple. 

Grantaire hums in contentment, his eyelids fluttering shut. Enjolras looks down at his boyfriend’s peaceful expression and makes a different pledge this time: he’ll do whatever he can to make life more bearable for Grantaire, but this time, he’ll do it with Grantaire’s own input. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! You can find me on tumblr at tattoograntaire


End file.
